One more batch

In cleaning up after this past week’s 2010 ‘Mark’s Year as a New Orleans Sub’ (MYANOS) Awards, I found there were a few…overlooked items. Those pesky little strips got stuck in the bottom of the envelope – good thing I checked carefully before recycling.

Onward we go…

Most Oddly Agreeable Student Award

I had a kid in class one day who just could not stop messing around – blurting out rap, talking to others, roaming around during independent work – generally just being a pain in the kiester. He was quiet for a while in the middle of a 90 minute class, then out of the blue, he started back up and I decided to nip it in the bud.

“Hey”! I yelled, using my most authoritative sub voice. “Knock it off! It’s my job to annoy the people in this classroom, NOT yours”!

He looked at me, stunned. “I guess you’re right, Mr. Lucker.  Sorry”.

He sat back down and said or did nothing the last half-hour of class.

We have two entries to honor in the gratuitous-verbal-byplay-with students area. First up…

Most Overused, Yet Never Understood ‘Comeback’ Award

“Ooooo – Mr. Lucker! You drivin’ me”!!!

Me, wistfully, “And yet, we never seem to get anyplace”.

If you make them have to think about it, they usually keep quiet.

And then…

A sophomore kid was messing around , doodling and playing with a rubber band during independent study time; he was supposed to be doing the first draft of an essay. I walked over, got his attention, asked what he was doing.

“Ummmm….Mr. Lucker….right now….” ( I could see the wheels turning,) “…right now….I’m…I’m….brainstorming”!

“Well that storm better produce more than a little puddle”. I then simply walked away

He too, remained quiet the rest of the day.

Most Amusing, So-Very-On-Target Ongoing P.A. Announcement Award

Many of the high schools in the area designate a day each week for in-house ‘professional development’; to help facilitate this, teachers in a specific grade or cadre share the same planning periods. One particular PD day found me at a school where every fifty minutes or so, speakers in every room blared with the same announcement from the building secretary;

“Today’s cluster meetings will be held in room 309. Remember teachers, these are mandatory cluster meetings”…

According to the regular staff, yes…yes they were…

We Eventually Get it Right Award

“The word for the day is demo-LISH. As in, the construction company comes today to demo-LISH the building next door” came the daily P.A. announcement from the office.


This was followed a few minutes later by the same office staffer, laughter being heard in the background; “I have been informed by a student that I mispronounced today’s word of the day. Today’s word of the day should be ‘demolish’ – deee-molll-ish. ‘The construction company comes today to dee-molll-ish the building next door’”. She paused, snickering heard in background. Then, dryly, “Thank you for pointing that out”.

Is It a Fashion Statement, Or a Dangling Fashion Participle? Award

Virtually all public school students in New Orleans wear uniforms, and occasionally, for a good behavior award or goal reached, a school might have a ‘dress down’ day. These usually result in perfect examples of why students in uniforms is a muuuuuch better idea in this environment. One high school I was at was having a dress down day as a fundraiser for a memorial for a former student who had been killed; pay $2 and you don’t have to wear a uniform tomorrow.

A popular teacher, an African-American woman of forty-five or so, had gathered a large group of female students around her in a classroom and was quietly giving them a primer and what was/wasn’t appropriate dress for the day. They were all nodding in agreement, eager to show off their wardrobe, but there was an audible groan and some muttered ‘damns’ when she ended with this yelled admonition: “It’s a ‘dress-down’ day…and no hooker dress down, ya hear?! Y’all got me on that”???!!!

They mumbled ‘yes, ma’am’ and went dejectedly to lunch.

As for me, its sooooo much easier being a solid shirt & funky necktie kinda guy.

That’s how it rolls in the public high schools of ‘Nawlins.

3 thoughts on “One more batch

  1. Judy Bettinger May 18, 2010 / 3:08 pm

    These posts should come with a warning: “Danger. May cause reader to spit coffee at the computer.”

    Still cracking up over the Oddly Agreeable Student…


    • poetluckerate May 19, 2010 / 7:19 am

      Sorry, Judy; any public disclaimer about proficiency as a nasal-passage cleansing device, and I end up with the FDA raising a stink.


  2. Lillian Iverson May 18, 2010 / 4:01 pm

    I love that one too!


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