A few years back I came up with a rather humorous (at least to me) tactic for dealing with telemarketers that I was convinced would get me placed on a wide array of ‘don’t call this nut case’ lists. In retrospect, that was just a pipe dream – though it did provide me some occasional satisfaction to actually get a telemarketer to hang up on me.
On one occasion, it took a bit longer than usual.
“Hi,is this Mr. Lucker?”
“Yes it is.”
“Hi, Mr. Lucker, how are you today? I’m calling today to speak with you about your home…”
“Hold on for a sec; before you go any further I’ll need your credit card number.”
“Pardon me sir?”
“Yeah, I’ll be happy to listen to any sales pitch you’ve got, but I charge $3.99 for the first minute, and a dollar for every minute after that.”
Pause. (This is the point where they usually hang up on me. Not this time.)
“Well, sir, I’m not sure how that works…”
“Like I said, I’ll listen to any sales pitch you’ve got, but my time is valuable, so it’s $3.99 for the first minute, and a dollar for each additional minute.”
“Sir, I’m not sure we do it that way here…”
But I’m a persistent fellow, so I keep plugging away “So do you want to use Visa, MasterCard or American Express?”
“Well, I’ll have to check with my manager to see how we do that. Can you hold on a moment, sir?”
By this point I am thinking the guy is going to realize what is happening, and just hang up like they usually do when I give them my sales pitch…but not this guy. Then, not only does he not hang up on me, he doesn’t even put me on hold, so I get the added bonus of hearing his conversation with his manager, brief and muffled though it was.
“He needs a credit card number from us” says sales dude to his manager.
“What?” is followed by unintelligible conversation for about ten seconds and then the manager screams, a quite UN-muffled..
”We don’t give anybody a *(&%$@% credit card number! Hang up the *%$$(%^!# phone!”
All in a day’s work.